Healing time

 I just looked at this blog and realized I've not kept up with it.    In fact, it's been years since I wrote anything here.  

My life has changed, pretty dramatically.   I'm going to write it down chronologically here.

2021 - June - My husband died, June 8th, exactly 6 months to the day before what would have been our 42nd wedding anniversary.   

2021- September Took my first solo trip, just an overnight one, 4 hours away, and it was hard.

2021 -December - Covid precautions were still in place, to fly, you had to wear a mask, but I decided I needed to be with family for Christmas and it was bittersweet.   But I did it.  

2022 -  Visited family again, by this time there were little to no Covid restrictions.  No mask needed on planes.  Managed to get to see family twice that year.  

2023 -  Decided to do a book signing combo road trip, ending in Canada for a couple months.    I holed up in the cutest little cottage, in my old home town, venturing out occasionally, and allowing myself to heal.  One of the best decisions I think I've ever made.   Later on in the year, I took a little leaf peeping trip, and got to see more of the country.  

2024 - so far this year, not too much, other than a small trip to Biloxi, with a friend, finished off my book, and published it, and now am set for more adventures.  I did have one adventure, and not a good one either.  My purse with all ID was stolen, and I'm now in the process of replacing it all.  And finding out that it could be a lengthy process for parts of it, but it is also fairly pricey as well as being incredibly inconvenient.  I am still planning on traveling, but those plans have been curtailed somewhat thanks to a thief.  

My newest book is out, and available for purchase.  The link is here:  https://bit.ly/4az2gG2   YANK MY CHAIN is the name of the book.    

Covid thoughts

As I write this there have been over 117,000 deaths so far from the Covid 19 virus, so far, the US alone.   That number is staggering to me, as it surpasses all the lives lost in armed conflicts since and including the Korean Conflict up to the present day. 
Think about it, if you combine the total lives lost in armed conflict from Korea, through Vietnam, the Gulf War, Iran and Afghanistan. 
At least those are the numbers I see posted as to lives lost.  Of course those are only counting the American lives lost.  
How many families were decimated and destroyed during those other conflicts.  Not just the Americans, but those in the aforementioned countries. 
I have no idea how to even gather those figures, so I'll just focus on one group, for right now. And that is the Americans.
For every person who has died from Covid 19, a family has been left bereft.  Mothers, Fathers, Children, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, Nieces and Nephews, Cousins.  Every single family who have been touched by a death from this disease has lost not only a family member, but also maybe the family historian, the family comedian, the family screwup, the list can go on and on.

So many of those who died, were alone, no family, no friends were with them.  Just medical personnel, who are stretched beyond endurance to just take care of the sick, never mind the dying.  

People couldn't say their final goodbyes to loved ones, could not succor their families grief.   I can't even imagine how isolating that is.  I got to sit with my mother as she lay dying many years ago, got to say goodbye, say a final I love you.  So many children, spouses, siblings couldn't do that, and the grief has to be overwhelming.  My grief was tempered, I was able to share the ending of my mother's life with my siblings, we all were there for her and each other.  But not being able to be with a parent or child or spouse as they passed on, the grief and the ongoing guilt some feel has got to be overwhelming in the extreme. 

I don't know where we'll go from here, the pandemic seems to be ongoing, masks that could and in my opinion, should be worn in public, are not being worn.  

So many people have lost not only jobs, but businesses and livelihoods, and are on the brink or have passed the brink and are jobless and or homeless.   And there doesn't seem to be a definite end in sight. 

Just a few thoughts. 

It sucks getting older...

It sucks getting older, it really does.  
It's not the age or numbers part that bothers me, but that I am physically diminished, my mental acuity isn't as on point as it once was, my ability to see clearly, without glasses is gone.

So let me break this down a little.   

I made the comment at work last week that it really sucked getting older and was told that 'it's not a privilege accorded to everyone'.
I sat and thought about it, and thought some more and really wanted to revisit the comment with that person, but then decided I could maybe explain here.

I'm actually glad I am the age I am, for the most part.  I like the wisdom I've accumulated over the years.  A lot of the time I know when to pick a battle and when to step away.
I appreciate so much more now, than I ever did.  I know I'm getting towards the twilight of my life, if you want to be fanciful.
I'm just a few years younger than my father was when he died.  And that's a sobering thought.  I look now at my parents and try to remember what they were like when they were my age, now.
Back then, I thought they were kinda old.  Really, I did.  And in many respects, they were.  I don't feel as old as they were when they were my age, but we also live in a different time.  When you hit your sixties, you were expected to slow down, sit back, not participate in life as much.
It is different now.   I wasn't ready for a rocking chair, however much I would enjoy just sitting in one and rocking.  In fact, I was so much not ready, that at the age of 63 I started working again, in a restaurant, as a cook.

I don't work long hours, but I'm ready to put my feet up when I get home. 

However, what I started to say is that there is also a certain amount of frustration that comes along with getting older. 
I don't have the physical strength I once prided myself on, I have to ask for help, whereas once upon a time, hell would have frozen before I asked for help.
I'm shorter than everyone else at work, I think, so sometimes I have to ask for help reaching something.  However, I've been short most of my life and I'm accustomed to it.  I have workarounds that I've employed for years. Maybe I can't reach everything on the top shelf in the grocery store, but I can knock down stuff with the best of them.
 
I know my memory isn't as good as it used to be, and that is frustrating, but I've accepted it as a gradual part of aging.  When I want to use a word and can't remember it, I forgive myself, I've learned that the harder I try to remember, the longer it takes for that elusive word to be remembered.

I'm comfortable with myself now in ways I never was as a young woman, I'm accepting and forgiving of myself to an extent that still surprises me.

I'm OK with the wrinkles, the gray hair, the slightly looser skin on my body.

But it still sucks getting older when I can't do all the things I used to do.

I have to accept that I'm in a new reality now, and while it's different, it's not a bad reality, and I can live with that. 

Life's Definitions

Have you ever thought about how life defines you?
I was thinking about that the other day as I was working on my newest book.  I'd had a conversation with a friend, she introduced me to someone else and added, "She writes cookbooks"  I got this little glow going, and thought 'giggle' I'm a cookbook author, and laughed a little.  I'd kinda thought of myself as such, but really, all I did was put down some recipes, added some words to it, added some pictures I'd taken along the way, and put them into a book.
Then I realized, wait a minute, I've now done this three times.  I'm what is known as an 'Indie author' and have three cookbooks out, and people are buying them, people I don't even know are putting down their money, and buying one of my books, or even all three.
WOOHOO!!!!

Amazing, this journey, but one that my feet are firmly planted on.
I'm still writing, but have expanded my views and will be publishing a murder mystery by years end.

And who knows, I may even write more cookbooks, or expand and revise the current books.

BTW, if you're interested, they're all on Amazon.
Hygge- Danish Food and Recipes
Nibbles and Bites - A Compilation of Appetizers, Canapés and Finger Foods
Simple Shrimp Recipes - 25 + Easy Shrimp Appetizers, Entrees and Dipping Sauces

You can also check out my Author page  here .

And as for this blog, this is where I share random thoughts, rants and other stuff.   

Music everywhere

Music, Music everywhere and not a quiet place to think. 

I like music, really, I do. 
But why do I have to have it blasted at me everywhere?

I go to the grocery store, there's music playing, and not at a quiet level either.  It's LOUD...   When I'm trying to remember exactly what I can to the store for, I don't want to listen to music playing so loudly I can't think.  

I go to a bar to visit with friends, they have live music and I appreciate the talent but question why they need to make it so loud on an afternoon that I have to scream at my friends and can't hear what they're screaming back at me.  

Why this obsession with noise, whatever happened to quiet time? 

Why do we have to constantly be entertained?

WHY?

Customer Rewards Card? NOT!!!

I'm at the grocery store, find the BOGO's and hurry up and place them in the card, I may not need them right now, but I do love my Naan, and Pistachio's and oooh, I did come here specifically to buy chicken and they had a BOGO on that as well, so I grabbed two packages of frozen chicken breasts and threw them into the cart where they landed next to all the BOGO's I'd already grabbed. 
I filled up the card with a few more items, headed to the checkout, presented my loyalty rewards card and was told that it is being phased out and here's the new one. 
Cashier:  We'll activate it for you right now, and then when you get home, just go online and finish registering it. 
Me: OK, thanks
Cashier:  It's really simple, just give them all the info they ask for.   Here, see you've already got 38 points that you can use at any of the following stores or restaurants or?   And every time you shop at one of the linked stores you can earn more points to use.
Me: Why not just lower the price here at the store?
Cashier: Oh no, we can't do that, but you can buy gas or a meal or shop at a department store and get points towards your purchase somewhere else.
Me: OK, fine I get it, can we just check out now?
Cashier:  Here's your card, now don't forget to go ahead and finish registering the card so you can get those great bonus points.
Me: I just want to get great deals here, I don't really care about the rest of it. 
I go home, put the card aside for a couple of days and then think, alright, let me look at it.  So I do.  I start to fill out the forms and believe you me there were forms on forms on forms.   And then I get to the point  where they want me to allow them to release all the information I just gave them to their 'partners' so I can get in line for any great deals they're offering.
Ummm, you want me to give them my email, birthdate, phone number and everything else that you want everyone in the hacking world to have. 
I get it.
NOT!!!
I stopped right there and tweeted about it, and guess what they tweeted back and told me I could opt out at any time.
Ummm, excuse me, they already have all the info, what makes you sure that they'll not sell it ad nauseum to every scammer, and everyone else out there who wants to sell me the latest greatest deal.

I already don't stay at Marriot Hotels, and I don't want a free stay as a thank you.   I haven't called about the Back Brace as seen on TV, and my computer is not infected by some kind of malware that only some poor slob in a third world country can fix if I allow him or her access to all the info on my computer right now. 

I think I'll just stick to shopping at stores that don't require me to carry a card as proof  and use all the info from that to prove that I'm a loyal customer there.

Really?

So, I'm in the grocery store, pushing my cart, looking at the produce, weighing in my mind what I want to make for dinner for the coming week, and deciding how much room I have in the fridge.   A lady comes up behind me, proceeds to SQUEEZE the tomatoes, and then drops them and says very loudly that "all they have here is crap:".  

I may be an anachronism here but I try to handle the produce with gentleness, picking up tomatoes, turning them gently in my hands to see evidence of bruising or over ripeness or other reason not to buy them. 

It's no wonder produce prices are going up and the garbage bins in the back of the store are almost overflowing with produce that some asinine idiot handled so roughly that it's not saleable.   

I wish I had the room and inclination to grow my own, but I don't so am forced to go the store and buy my produce that some idjit has handled roughly, without consideration for anyone else but them.